Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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