i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
