My brain says no but my pants say off.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
