I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
