How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
