I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The Olympian is in my bed
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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