You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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