I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
