i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
high people should be assigned attendants
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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