Whod you bang
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Randomize
