We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
