and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
