ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
