remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
