What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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