didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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