literally had 100 drinks last night.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
