She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
