I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
