he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
