one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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