6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Randomize
