Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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