HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
