So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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