Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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