I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
