Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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