dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
PANTIES FOUND
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