So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
