I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
