so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
