What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
