I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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