I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
