If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
