dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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