time to smoke my breakfast
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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