who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
