This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My vagina is officially offended.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
