Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
