I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
