it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
