He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
