My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You don't make any sense
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