is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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