The maid of honor just puked.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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