we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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