How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize