Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
