cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
