I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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