I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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