Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize