She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
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It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
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I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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