i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
