She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize