even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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