Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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