I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize