im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
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It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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