I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
