I just cut my nipple shaving
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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