WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize