so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
