I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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